Please, please, please…
It is easy to get lost trying to be all things to all people
It must have happened a long time ago. Perhaps it was my role growing up as the youngest in a large family or perhaps it’s just something that is inherent in everyone only in varying degrees of intensity, importance and/or relevance.
I like to please. It feels good to make people happy. It is part of the greater scheme of “fitting in”, of seeking approval, of being accepted. I avoid conflict, I mediate and reconcile at frequent opportunities, I listen and empathise, I step in and out so often at times that I suddenly find myself adrift, quite lost and separate from my Self, out of touch and ungrounded.
I don’t say “no” enough. I say sorry too much. I go along with most suggestions. All until I have that lost, separated sensation and then I spark up. It can come as quite a shock after so much acquiescence, and since it is exceptional rather than the norm it is not a polished performance and the rawness has been known to offend and wound.
To misquote a favourite artist: you can please some people sometimes, but you can’t please all the people all the time.
Must. Stop. Trying.